How to Write What You Know When You Don’t Know Anything

The standard advice for writing fiction is “write what you know.” I don’t know about you but whenever I heard those words, I always assumed the speaker was talking to ex-Navy SEALs, heart surgeons, and people who were raised by wolves. “Write what you know! As long as what you know is interesting.”

I am not an ex-Navy SEAL, I didn’t go to med school, and though my table manners may suggest otherwise, I was not in fact raised by wolves. My life so far has been – luckily for me – mostly pretty boring.

And so for a long time I thought “write what you know” didn’t apply to me. Because who would want to read about what I know?

So I started trying to build a life worth writing about. I road-tripped across the country six times. I went to law school and quit three months later, I spent two months backpacking across Europe, I moved to New York and Chicago and LA. I spent ten days in Nigeria. I started and sold a business.

And still, I didn’t feel I knew things worth writing about. Because while those experiences were all interesting and helped me grow as a human, I didn’t feel they were really mine. How could I write about life as a law student – or worse, a lawyer – after three months of law school? How could I write about life in Budapest or Lagos or Paris after spending a few days or weeks in the city? And who wants to read another book about New York (especially written by someone who lived there only four months)?

All of those things are just facts in a list. “I lived in New York.” “I spent a semester in law school.” “I traveled.” Those are things you do, not things you know.

And that’s when I realized I’d been doing it all wrong.

What I realized is that “write what you know” isn’t about your tenth grade band trip to Shanghai, it isn’t about the time you broke your leg in three places, and it’s not about your sordid past in the CIA.

Writing what you know isn’t about the things you’ve seen, it’s about the things you’ve felt.

“‘Writing what you know’ isn't about the things you’ve seen, it’s about the things you’ve felt.” - @heylauriestark #amwriting Click To Tweet

It’s about the devastation you felt on that tenth grade band trip when you walked into your shared hotel room to find your crush kissing your best friend, and how you ran down to the lobby and wrote your friend a note on hotel stationery using words you would have been grounded if your parents had heard you say, hot tears falling onto the back of your hand.

It’s about the time you broke your leg in three places because your brother bet you you couldn’t jump off a bridge into the Hillsborough river, and how you hit the water so hard you blacked out and sunk like a stone through the murky depths, and how when you woke up your brother was leaning over you on the litter-strewn grass of the embankment and there were tears in his eyes and he was calling your name and you realized for the first time in your life that he loved you.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the CIA.

We all have these stories inside us. A moment when we realized we were loved, a moment when we thought we were going to die, a moment when we did something that filled us with shame. We all have things that make us feel – things we care about enough to write an impassioned speech on our boss’s cousin’s Facebook page, things we care enough about to end friendships over, to quit jobs over, to lie awake in the middle of the night worrying will never be ok.

And that is what we know.

Here are two exercises I made up to help you figure out what it is that you know.

Write What You Know: Things You Believe

Every good story has a guiding thesis statement or story question, a statement the author is making about the world or – even more powerfully – a question the author is asking about life.

Instead of starting with a premise or a plot or even a character, consider starting with a moral question or a strongly-held belief. Examples: deeply-held convictions, pet peeves, guiding moral principles. Beliefs that shape our choices, beliefs that lead us to judge, beliefs that will send us into a ten-minute rant if provoked.

Now this is important: preachy stories are the worst so it’s best if this belief is something you wish weren’t true or that you suspect isn’t true or that you at least acknowledge has hidden complexities. It should be something that you feel strongly about but could imagine a sound argument against. These kinds of beliefs often aren’t even things we believe rationally, but are things we believe subconsciously that influence how we live.

Part I

Set a timer for ten minutes and answer as many of the questions below as you can. You don’t have to answer them in order; feel free to skip around to the questions that resonate with you most. Also feel free to answer a single question with more than one answer.

1. What’s the last argument you had with someone that really upset you?
2. What’s a recent thing you really judged someone for?
3. What’s a decision you made that seemed foolish to everyone around you? Why did you think it was the right choice?
4. What’s the last thing you ranted about on social media? Why did it get you so worked up? Did anyone disagree with you?
5. What’s a small thing you did as a child that you still feel ashamed of? Why do you think it was so bad?
6. What’s a recent seemingly minor incident that really pissed you off? Why did it bother you so much?
7. Is there a common moral theme to the stories you’ve written in the past (or ideas you’ve had for stories)?
8. Think about the last terrible nightmare you had or the last dream that was so good that you didn’t want to wake up. What was it about? What was so terrible/wonderful about it? What emotions did you feel? Do you dream about things like that often?

Part II

For each story or example you wrote above, write down the belief that led you to make the choice you made or to feel the way you felt. It doesn’t have to be a belief that you logically agree with. Try to keep each belief to one short sentence as in the following examples:

• It’s important in society that people follow the rules.
• The worst quality a person can have is conceit.
• Paranoia is worse than ignorance.
• Harmony is more important than justice.
• If you really loved someone, you should never be able to get over them.
• It’s a sin to not do what you’re meant to do in the world.
• Nothing should ever come before family, no matter what.
• Adults should always be able to handle the truth.
• You should never let yourself be dependent on anyone.

As you’re making the list, make a star next to any beliefs that really stir something in you as you’re writing them.

When you’re done, take the list and, for each belief, write down an opposing belief. For example, if one of the beliefs you wrote was

It’s important in society that people follow the rules.

for an opposing belief you might write something like:

For a society to function, it’s important for people to know when to break the rules.

Again, make a star next to any opposing belief that really stirs something in you when you write it down.

When I say that it “stirs something in you,” I mean that you feel an emotional reaction to it or find it particularly complex and interesting.

Part III

For each belief that you starred (beliefs you agree with or ones you disagree with), start a separate page. On that page, answer the following questions while thinking of an imaginary person for whom this belief is the core of their moral code or worldview:

1. What are some things a person who strongly holds this belief might do (that most other people wouldn’t)? What problems could this create?
2. What are some things a person who strongly holds this belief would NEVER do (that most other people might)? What situation could force this person to do that thing (or at least seriously consider it)?
3. Is there a situation in which a thing the person WOULD do (question #1) could lead to the situation that forces them to do the thing they would NEVER do (question #2)?
4. Try to come up with at least 5-10 character, plot, or premise ideas that would allow you to explore both sides of this belief. Even if the ideas are dumb, keep listing more until you get so stuck that it takes you more than three minutes to think of the next one.

Example:

Belief: It’s important in society that people follow the rules.

Opposing belief: For a society to function, it’s important for people to know when to break the rules.

What are some things a person who strongly holds this belief might do (that most other people wouldn’t)? Give up a family member to the police for committing a victimless crime.

What are some things a person who strongly holds this belief would NEVER do (that most other people might)? Speak out against authority to protect a family member.

What situation could force this person to do that thing (or at least seriously consider it)? If they found out that the government was corrupt and therefore its rules should not be followed.

Is there a situation in which a thing the person WOULD do (question #1) could lead to the situation that forces them to do the thing they would NEVER do (question #2)? If they gave up their brother to the police for committing a victimless crime, then found out the police were corrupt and were going to kill their brother. They might then break the law to break their brother out of prison and save his life.

Character and plot ideas:
– a by-the-books parking enforcement officer
– a young religious zealot
– a vindictive prosecuting attorney
– a society with endless, complicated, nonsensical rules (and breaking them is punishable by death)
– a lone rule-lover in an anarchic, seemingly utopian society that’s only rule is there are no rules
– a teacher in a strict boarding school who begins to question the oppressive rules she enforces
– a character who believes in her society’s rules, then learns that her very existence is against the rules
– a parent of 10 children who believes rules bring order to chaos
– a retired military vet who now must move in with his chaotic sister

Write What You Know: Things You’ve Felt

At their core, good stories are made up of characters who do things because they have feelings, and then have feelings because they did things. That’s really the gist of it.

“At their core, good stories are made up of characters who do things because they have feelings, and then have feelings because they did things. That's really the gist of it.” - @heylauriestark #amwriting Click To Tweet

So if you want to write great stories, you need to be able to tap into honest, relatable, powerful feelings. Any feeling you’ve ever had – any emotion – has been felt by millions of other people even if that emotion was brought about by a different situation.

Part I

You definitely don’t need to respond to all of these prompts, but read through them and see if any spark a memory you hadn’t thought of in a while or had never believed was interesting.

You could just write down a few words to remind yourself of the story you’re thinking of, or you could write a few pages of detailed story about the memory. Whatever you’re inspired to do. Try if you can to think of a specific moment, not just a general event or time in your life.

These don’t necessarily need to be big, traumatic events (though they might be). It could be a very small moment you hadn’t thought about in decades.

Warning: some of these might bring up some difficult memories, so do this when you have some time alone and are in a comfortable place.

Negative emotions:

• a time when you were embarrassed in front of someone you wanted to impress
• something you did (maybe as a child) that you still feel shame when you think about, even though you know now it wasn’t your fault
• something you did that you still feel ashamed of, and you think you’re right to feel ashamed
• a time when you were really proud of yourself, and then were embarrassed or disappointed to realize you shouldn’t really have been proud
• a time when you learned that someone you trusted had lied to you, or hidden something important
• the worst fight you ever had with someone you cared about
• a time you found out that someone you knew had died
• a time when you were fired from a job, kicked off a team, or pushed out of a group you belonged to
• a time when you were really excited for something, then terribly disappointed
• a time when you realized you had to break someone’s heart
• a time when you were rejected by something or someone you hadn’t expected to reject you
• a time when someone caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing
• a time when you genuinely thought you might die
• any other memory this list brought up, even if it doesn’t exactly fit with any of these prompts

Positive emotions:

• a time when you’d expected to be rejected, then were surprised when you weren’t
• a time when you stood up for someone else
• a time when you stood up for yourself
• a time when someone you wanted to impress was impressed by or proud of you
• a time when you made up with someone after a bad fight or being on bad terms for a long time
• a time when you were awed by the magic or beauty of a place you visited for the first time
• a time when someone gave you an unexpectedly meaningful compliment
• a time when someone did something for you that made you feel really loved
• a time when something funny happened to you when you were with someone (or a group) you cared about, and you all laughed until your stomachs hurt
• any other memory this list brought up, even if it doesn’t exactly fit with any of these prompts

Part II

For each memory you wrote down, if you feel comfortable, answer any of the following questions you can remember an answer to (you might be surprised what you remember):

1. Where were you when it happened? Be specific. “Mr. Lorenzo’s 4th grade math class” is better than “school.”
2. What do you remember about the place? Was it inside or outside? Were there windows? What was outside the windows? What was the lighting like? How big was the space? How was it decorated? If there was a surface in front of you, what was on it? What kind of sounds could you hear in the room? What was the temperature? What did it smell like?
3. What were you doing? Were you sitting or standing? Were you alone? Who else was there? What were you wearing? Were you holding anything? Did you speak? What did you say?
4. How did you feel before this incident happened? How did you feel during or after? Try to be specific about the emotion. Rather than saying you were “happy,” is it possible you were actually “eager” or “proud” or “giddy?” Do you remember any physical feeling in your body?
5. Are there any other details you remember? Smells, sounds, tastes, textures, words, feelings?
6. What did you do after it happened? Did you cry? Did you run? Did you call someone? Did you clench your fists? Did you jump up and down? Did you punch a wall? Did you write about it in a diary?

Part III

For each memory, try to think of an idea for a story or a scene based on the following questions:

1. What is a more exaggerated version of what happened to you? By “more exaggerated,” I mean higher stakes, more extreme consequences (positive or negative).
   
   For example, if something embarrassing happened to you on a first date with someone you really liked, what if it had happened on the wedding day with someone your dystopian future society had assigned you to as your One True Soulmate and they had 24 hours to decide if they wanted to marry you or banish you from the planet?
   
   The idea doesn’t have to be something high-concept like that, just a situation with higher emotional stakes.
   
   For example, if your memory was about winning the elementary school spelling bee, what if your estranged father had been in the audience and you were hoping that winning the bee would convince him to move back in with your family?
2. Think of a character who would be the most ironic or surprising person to be put in the situation you were in.
   
   For example, if your memory was about winning the spelling bee, what if you had been dyslexic?
   
   Or if your memory was about stealing a CD from the mall, what if your mother had run the music store?
3. Is there a television or movie premise you could build around this story in which a version of your memory could be either the inciting incident or the climactic scene?
   
   For example, if your memory was about winning the spelling bee, what if it was a different kind of contest – a contest that decided whether or not the protagonist got to relocate off a dying planet?
   
   Or if your memory was about feeling guilty when a friend got in trouble for a prank you both participated in and you got away with it, what if your story was about a protagonist who was the only survivor of a plane crash?
4. Is there a different way your memory could have gone that would have been even more surprising or interesting?
   
   For example, if your memory was about a game of “Bloody Mary” you played at a sleepover with friends in middle school that ended with you in tears, what if Bloody Mary really had shown up and you were the only one who saw her?

I hope these exercises prompted some new ideas!

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